OMG UPDATE: Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but write a missed connection and submit it maybe?

Updated on Sunday, December 1, 2013

#5447

MISSED CONNECTION: This isn't really a missed connection, just an expression of feelings.

For what seems like forever, I've been thinking that I'll find something real. It's not that I don't get asked out often, which I do, but I'd like to feel the spark from my side. The guys that are interested in me are only friends to me, and I don't think there's anything wrong with waiting for someone that I'm also interested in. Every time someone grabs my attention, I put myself out there and wonder if maybe this is it. But it seems like everything has become a mind game. "Should I text first?" "Why hasn't he responded?" "Does he even want to see me?" "Am I being annoying?" It seems like finding someone has become such a mission because of not wanting to seem too desperate, not wanting to develop feelings with the fear that the other person won't feel the same way, or not wanting to be annoying. Why is it like this? Why can't two people just meet, forget about the rest of the world, and try to build a relationship? Why do we keep our options open and develop multiple interests at once to see if ONE of them will go anywhere? I've noticed that I do this too; I hesitate to admit to myself when I like someone because I'm scared that he doesn't feel the same way and I don't want to get hurt over and over again. I don't want to do this. I want to meet just one person and put my energy towards making it work with him. I know that things will work out when they are meant to happen, but sometimes I wonder how much longer it will take. I look around me and it feels like happy couples are everywhere. At all major times in a year (e.x, my birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, etc), I tell myself that by this time next year, I'll be in a real relationship. Yet, here I am, only a few weeks away from my birthday and still in the same place as last year.

16 comments

  1. Hey OP, next time you feel the urge to spew out all the self pity you're feeling, use a diary.

    You said it yourself - 'not exactly an MC'

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    Replies
    1. OP stated "this is an expression of feelings" and the MODs added a read-more tag, and yet you still somehow feel the urge to
      1. click on it even though you knew you wouldn't like the content at all, and
      2. actually have the audacity (or - hint - maybe you're just an asshole) to comment on how stupid OP, of all people, is being.

      Please go fuck yourself at your earliest convenience.

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    2. This is OP.
      Thank you 3a, the world needs more people like you. :)

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    3. Not OP, but you rock 3A.

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  2. Happy Birthday to you in a couple weeks. And in my opinion stop looking for love. It'll eventually come to you. Just have an opened mind and it will come :D

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  3. Love doesn't "come" to you. If you have feelings for someone and you want them to grow, it is necessary to focus on just the one person, committing to the love you want. If you don't it will never happen. If you do and he doesn't feel the same way, so what. It's not like you can't feel that way again. You won't find the love you are looking for if you aren't willing to dive into it yourself.

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  4. This reminds me of my friend. She's a lovely person and exceptionally pretty, but her boy "problems" are so exhausting to me. The only advice I have is to calm down. Don't even try to plan when you'll be in a relationship. You can't even plan that *while* you're dating that someone. It's hard to fight off the feeling of connection once you've found it, and when you do meet someone you feel something for, just remind yourself that life is short and go for it.

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    1. This sounds EXACTLY like someone I know.

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    2. Ya, you can't really plan when you will be in a relationship. I decided to find a girl over co-op. I found this awesome girl, we really hit it off, but at the end of co-op I found out she was cheating on her boyfriend. The whole time I was thinking I had fulfilled my plan, and then suddenly it all meant nothing. This co-op term I have the plan of meeting more people. If I don't get a relationship, I will at least get a bunch of new friends

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    3. oh god, you sound exactly like my friend

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  5. As I read your post OP I realized more and more that there's leagues to this relationship thing and your playing a completely different game to what I am. You're playing Scrabble, you have a bunch of different letters (options) but you haven't been able to put them in the right order yet. Nor do you know if the right combination is even there. That must be incredibly frustrating. I feel like I'm stuck in a game of Snakes and Ladders; I keep climbing up and giving it a shot, only to fall down, and as it continues to happen, I wonder more and more whether or not I'll ever reach whatever is at the top.

    That's not to trivialize your problems, or make myself more sympathetic, my issues are no more valid than yours, I'm just saying that although I'm in a completely different situation I can completely relate with the overall struggle your going through. I sincerely hope things work out for you, and surely as long as you don't lose that - hope; everything will work out just fine.

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  6. It sounds like you are a person who is in love with the idea of love. Same thing happens to me, I consider myself a good guy. A lot of girls like me but Im still looking for "the one" who is going to take my breath away. Stay strong, Im sure someone will appear in your life. When that person comes, you wont have to worry about who texts first or being annoying. Stay strong miss.

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  7. I totally relate to this...damn!

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  8. From what I skimmed, I can see where you are coming from. But it sounds like you like the idea of a relationship more than the idea of who its truly with.

    I'm going to tell you what a good friend of mine told me a long time ago that has since changed my life perspective. "figure your own shit out" While it may be lovely to have someone with you over holidays like Christmas, Valentines and Birthdays, while it may be difficult that you see couples everywhere, the most important relationship you can have is with yourself.

    When you do meet that someone special, you'll realize that you don't need to play games. Be sure of yourself and your own capabilities, and you shouldn't have to play games. Your significant other should be the one that you want to tell everything to, you shouldn't have to play games with them. Finding someone shouldn't be a "mission," people come along most unexpectedly.

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