OMG UPDATE: Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but write a missed connection and submit it maybe?

Updated on Wednesday, December 11, 2013

#5526

MISSED CONNECTION: To my dearest 53b/d etc.,

First, I want you to imagine this is a quill and ink letter like in the 1500s(accuracy?) that arrived to you by whatever bird they used (raven?).
Over the course of our 14 message correspondence (many years by raven time), I found myself more and more enamoured with your typeface. Your willingness to share a laugh with me in the heat of what was one of the more toxic OMGUW threads in recent memory shows me you can make the best of a bad situation, which is good as you’ll be able to tolerate my shitty jokes? I felt a connection that even my Wi-Fi which was allowing me to converse with you couldn’t provide; like literally it’s pretty slow at times. Your non-douchey playfully-sarcastic nature came off as so incredibly genuine. When you +1’d me for making a Hunger Games reference, I assume that’s the sort of thing that would make a person’s heart flutter in a movie because we had something in common and stuff. It didn’t have that effect on me, but it was still totes cool.

I don’t know your name, I don’t know what you look like, all I know is that talking to you was pree cool, and it’d be pree cool if we could do that some time, ‘but liek IRL”. Maybe Wednesday the 11th or 18th, because then we could wear pink. That would be cool; cool cool cool. In all seriousness, though most things I do seem drenched in sarcasm/mediocre attempts at humour, it’d be awesome if we could have a really cliché/boring date in which we both fail to enjoy ourselves because we don’t know if it’s a date or a hangout due to the inherent tenseness of the situation and afterwards we could play Scrabble together which I don’t think I actually like or am good at but it seems like doing it with you might make it less loathsome; and we’d laugh about the ridiculousness of the situation, cuz dats wat we do’s. Anyway, wednesday or something! So yeah. I will see you there, or I will see you on another time.

P.S. I was actually typing this before you said it’d make you love me. Oh and do you like Atari or Justin Bieber? I don’t particularly like either of those things but they’ll help validate my identity if we meet. Kbye. [Wow I typed out of my ass for this... W.e. no edits, I’m just badass like that?]

Still think I lurve you,
53a/c etc.

10 comments

  1. To the other half of 53 (who I can now identify by name - yippee!!),

    Let me just start by saying there is no way that I'm going to top this message. Single handedly the best MC written in the history of MCs! The best hand-written letter to ever grace a lady's windowsill! Even the raven that carried the letter fluttered right into my hands in glee. Ah, what a letter! You've got me grinning like a fat kid with a gooey slice of ice cream cake (the good kind of ice cream cake ;)), grinning like a school girl with a school girl crush. Basically, grinning like an idiot, people are starting to stare...

    If you're still up to it, and our back-and-forth emails didn't completely kill the mystery, maybe you could confer with your Wi-Fi and see if you can connect yourself to my facebook? I promise I will not ignore your friend request. Then we'll figure out a proper date and time and won't have to rely on your acknowledgment for JB and Atari to identify each other when we meet.

    P.S. I read and re-read this 100 times. I'm not as eloquent as you are evidently.
    P.P.S. shoot me another email with your last name. I don't think you'll actually be able to find me on fb with my tip-top privacy settings.
    P.P.P.S Damn you MODs for taking forever to post this!!! </3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

      Delete
    2. Alright, I feel bad. I'm 2 and I've been trolling OP hard.

      Sorry OP. My gf says there's a special place in hell reserved for me. I think she might be right.

      Delete
    3. uuughh, great, I hate trolls

      Delete
    4. OP here. Responded to you via e-mail 2?/2b?. Hopefully you get a chance to read it and (wo)man up and respond! Have a good one!

      Delete
  2. This whole thread is the gayest thing I've ever read

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yup. You two sound perfect for each other.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wait, which thread were you two originally talking in?! Ahhh....

    ReplyDelete