#5526

MISSED CONNECTION: To my dearest 53b/d etc.,

First, I want you to imagine this is a quill and ink letter like in the 1500s(accuracy?) that arrived to you by whatever bird they used (raven?).
Over the course of our 14 message correspondence (many years by raven time), I found myself more and more enamoured with your typeface. Your willingness to share a laugh with me in the heat of what was one of the more toxic OMGUW threads in recent memory shows me you can make the best of a bad situation, which is good as you’ll be able to tolerate my shitty jokes? I felt a connection that even my Wi-Fi which was allowing me to converse with you couldn’t provide; like literally it’s pretty slow at times. Your non-douchey playfully-sarcastic nature came off as so incredibly genuine. When you +1’d me for making a Hunger Games reference, I assume that’s the sort of thing that would make a person’s heart flutter in a movie because we had something in common and stuff. It didn’t have that effect on me, but it was still totes cool.

I don’t know your name, I don’t know what you look like, all I know is that talking to you was pree cool, and it’d be pree cool if we could do that some time, ‘but liek IRL”. Maybe Wednesday the 11th or 18th, because then we could wear pink. That would be cool; cool cool cool. In all seriousness, though most things I do seem drenched in sarcasm/mediocre attempts at humour, it’d be awesome if we could have a really cliché/boring date in which we both fail to enjoy ourselves because we don’t know if it’s a date or a hangout due to the inherent tenseness of the situation and afterwards we could play Scrabble together which I don’t think I actually like or am good at but it seems like doing it with you might make it less loathsome; and we’d laugh about the ridiculousness of the situation, cuz dats wat we do’s. Anyway, wednesday or something! So yeah. I will see you there, or I will see you on another time.

P.S. I was actually typing this before you said it’d make you love me. Oh and do you like Atari or Justin Bieber? I don’t particularly like either of those things but they’ll help validate my identity if we meet. Kbye. [Wow I typed out of my ass for this... W.e. no edits, I’m just badass like that?]

Still think I lurve you,
53a/c etc.