OMG UPDATE: Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but write a missed connection and submit it maybe?

Updated on Friday, February 7, 2014

#5680

MISSED CONNECTION: We dated for a year and a week before we broke it off mutually; I initiated it because I felt really hurt by you and was too hung up on your “first love”. Why didn't you explain back then that you didn't actually cheat on me and you weren't using me? I cut off communications with you a few times since we broke up because I couldn't get you off my mind.

A week and a bit ago, I broke up with my (new) boyfriend of 6 months. He treated me very well, but I realized that my feelings for you never went away. I thought I was ready and he treated me the way I wanted YOU to treat me back then (at least not make me feel used), but I think I unintentionally ended up just wanting to get you off my mind. At the end of October, I tried to break it off with him when I told him about my remaining feelings for you; instead he pressured me to cut off all communications with you (again). You were really upset at me when I finally told you I was dating someone else and that I couldn’t talk to you anymore. You cried to me then saying you missed me, you still loved me and that I was the only person that showed you what love is; I cried for days before/after that.

Now, a year and three months since we broke up, you being back in school this term, being in the same club, and me being single again, I finally started talking to you again. I kept staring at you from afar and I even dreamt about you a few nights straight.

Yesterday (Thursday), you told me you’re now dating someone from our club and my heart sank to a new low. I excused myself from work and bawled my eyes out in the washroom. I couldn’t sleep last night at all knowing I have to see both of you tonight. I think she’s a sweet girl, but I don’t think I can bear to be friends with her anymore. The fear I had in the past year (not knowing what I’d do if you ever start dating again) finally came true; I’m a hypocrite and I’m sincerely sorry.

I still love you, but I guess it’s too late to do anything about it now … I’ll try to be happy for you
11/11/11

21 comments

  1. Sweet baby jesus on toast. Life is too short to be so hung up on someone. Besides, if I cut all the emotion from it I end up reading "You were a douche for a year, then dated someone else but said you loved me when I dated another guy. Now you're dating still someone else". He was never good for you, stop mulling this over.

    I know its not always as easy as just saying it, but I do know that its something you do to yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel bad for her rebound, what a total bitch. It sounds to me like it was only her irrational paranoia that broke up the first relationship too.

      Delete
    2. reply to 1.b)
      but the second ex (rebound) stayed even knowing her feelings for the first guy and probably witnessed her crying for days when he forced her to cut ties with the first ex... :/

      either way i think this is a post of her regrets, she's probably sorry about rebounding as well

      Delete
  2. Gotta love puppy love.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This chick is the epitome of histrionic anxiety. Take your anxiety meds, grow up, and shut up.

    ReplyDelete
  4. So you break up with him because of your insecurities, date another guy, cut all contact.

    Now you are mad when he finally is able to move on and date?

    FUCKING WOMEN. UGH. Break hearts because they are too superficial to see whats good in their lives, bitch about how unfair it is when they get their heart broken, EVEN THOUGH ITS YOUR FUCKING FAULT, YOU INITIATED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

    I don't understand girls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm pretty sure she's aware of the mistakes she's made and she doesn't need you reiterating. She regrets her decisions and she's sad about them and she just needs to spill somewhere.

      You talk like this post personally insulted you or something when it's just an anonymous confession on a site for anonymous posts. I know it's hard for bitter UW virgins but can we please be a bit more sensitive and cut back on the unwarranted vitriol?

      Delete
    2. 4.a +1


      @ #4:
      she never said she was mad and she even said she would be happy for him at the end of the post. She didn't say she was mad at the guy's new girl either; probably just can't be friends in the same way again.

      Delete
    3. 4a: +1

      Sorry this is getting in the way of your misogynistic rant, 4. Because, you know, clearly it's cool for men to date when they have feelings for someone else, but god forbid a woman does...

      Delete
  5. Hey, at least you will now look at love and companionship in a new way, and that this event in life will help carry you to further happiness. Time to take up/renew your hobbies and reconnect with real friends! Stay strong and come back as a better version of you. Mistakes are of the past and the future depends on what you are now and decide to be. Embrace your mistakes, it helps us grow. You have all my feels and a 5star ;)

    -GreenHeadphoneGuy

    ReplyDelete
  6. I appreciate your feedbacks and I agree with most of you. I want to expand on my story and (not trying to avoid the blame, but) to express my reasoning to my actions.

    *For the sake of this post, I shall give the guys alias names.
    first ex-bf = Oliver
    second ex-bf = Edan

    (Reply to #1.b) Yes, I think I'm a bitch as well for what I did to Edan and I’m sincerely sorry to him too. When Edan confessed to me last summer, I rejected him stating I wasn't ready and that I wasn't over my "first love." A month or so afterwards, he was still around with the intent to date; at that time I THOUGHT I was stable enough to date again so I told Edan I'd give us a try. We both went into the relationship knowing I wasn't fully over my "first love" and thought that my feelings for Oliver would slowly go away since I had no intent to get back together with someone who treated me so bad and cheated on me (didn’t know this wasn't true then). Edan was someone I felt really comfortable around and is a really great friend so I decided to give Edan a try. I hold a mentality in life to rather regret something happened, but know what happens than to live regretting not doing it and wonder what would have happened; I guess Edan should have been an exception.

    I regret many of the decisions I have made in this lifetime, especially the one involving Edan. However, Edan and I knew I wasn’t over Oliver BEFORE we got into a relationship, so I made it clear to him from the beginning that I wasn’t going to date him with the intent to just distract myself from Oliver. I did have feelings for Edan during our relationship, but it was unable to reach anywhere close to what I had for Oliver. I knew my feelings for Oliver never went away, but I broke up with Edan because I found myself falling out of love for him for the entire month before we broke up. He treated me very well, but we had our own problems, which lead to a mutual break up; my decision was made regardless of my feelings for Oliver (you can argue that it influenced it, but I didn’t break up with him with the intent to get back together with Oliver).

    It only occurred to me that I unintentionally rebounded with Edan when I realized my feelings for Oliver. I realized how strong my remaining feelings for Oliver were when I saw him more often at the school club recently, when I started talking to him again and when he told me he was dating someone. I started talking to Oliver right before Edan and I officially broke up; Edan allowed me to talk to Oliver again because he witnessed how painful it was for me to have to constantly see, but needed to ignore Edan in social/club settings (he is in my circle of friends at the club).

    [continued in reply]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. [continuing #7]

      (Reply to #4) When I was with Oliver, he did many suspicious things that lead me to think he was cheating, but yes I agree that I was paranoid and insecure. I was really hung up on HIS first love because he did something (I think is) immoral with her when she dated his friend after him. It made me skeptical to his loyalty to people and his love for her. Also, around 2-3 months into the relationship, I was thinking of taking a break, but he got drunk one night and mentioned her. He drunkenly cried to me asking me not to leave him; saying “please don’t leave me, I love you. You’re not the first person I loved, but you’re the second,” which is why I always felt second to her and felt that he wasn’t over her. Also, we broke up without closure (wasn’t told he didn’t actually cheat on me, etc) and I wasn’t updated on the truth until I was already dating Edan, so it was really difficult to move on from Oliver after we broke up.


      Sorry for long post; I tried to summarize it up and be brief because if I were to explain everything, I would need to prepare to write a novel.

      To end the post, I want to mention that I don’t mind what people say or think of me because I do think what I did was wrong and I do need to move on from Oliver. I am not doing this out of self-righteousness or what have you; I just wanted to express all of this somewhere and not bottle it up. I wanted to make it clear that I do regret my decisions and feel sorry for what I’ve done, which involved both their feelings. However, regardless of whether this post changed your mind about me or not, I do hope that people realize that they shouldn’t judge others without knowing the entire story and the reasoning behind their actions (me or anyone else). I would like to relate it to this example: in a morality/ethical situation, you would likely automatically unfriend and shit talk your friend if you found out that they had killed someone, but would that opinion change if you found out that if he didn’t kill that one person, ten other people would have died and it was a really tough decision/situation that he regrets being in. I didn't give that example to discuss whether killing in general is good/bad, but to have you relate to an extreme situation. Again, I didn’t post this in hopes to avoid blame, but to express my apologies and to admit I know I was wrong.

      Delete
    2. Your story is EXACTLY like mine, except try 4 failed relationships. It gets better, don't worry. Took me a long time to forgive myself for everything I did, but I eventually did and I couldn't be happier now. Thanks for sharing your story!

      Delete
  7. guys just want to get their d*ck sucked

    ReplyDelete
  8. If you're serious about finding them try http://www.meant2say.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. this is exactly why i stay away from relationships, so much useless drama..

    ReplyDelete
  10. kinda sucks for OP cuz sometimes feelings are feelings. But come on, you sound like an insecure drama queen. All i can say is i feel sorry for this guy you "rebounded" off of. dont be upset when your ex dates someone else, when you also dated as well. I mean seriously what kind of mentality is that

    ReplyDelete
  11. Being one that's been rebound guy... I still don't understand why he was hurt in the process... He saw the good and bad, in my case I offered to help them get back together because for me, my happiness was to see you happy... I'd say tell the guy what's happened... cause he may feel like how you did with u r ex who has a new gf... because the worst thing you can do to anyone is cut them off completely with no room for closure because it'll end up that they may not trust again or have much difficulty doing so

    ReplyDelete