OMG UPDATE: Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but write a missed connection and submit it maybe?

Updated on Wednesday, July 16, 2014

#6062

MISSED CONNECTION:
There have been some thoughts on my mind recently – thoughts that I just simply can’t ignore anymore. I know this note may be the last thing you’d expect, but I simply can no longer abide silence. So I’m going public about our story. Or lack of one.

Allow me to provide some background information. For the past three months, I have been smitten by a multi-talented, attractive, popular young woman. Despite my valiant and incessant efforts, she continuously fails to see me in the same way. To avoid any unnecessary confusion, the remainder of this post will be addressed TO, and not ABOUT, the girl in question.

You foolishly took me and my presence for granted. You never EVER appreciated all those times I listened to you while you vented about how “bad” your life was. You ranted about past relationships, your parents, and your unending need for attention. At the time, I enjoyed being there, but now I realize that I was used and abused.

Let’s just say, hindsight really is 20/20.

Of all the people who would have been there for you in times of need, I would have been there for you until the end. I put myself on the line promoting you to my friends, knowing that there was a chance they’d hate me for liking you. And through it all, you never once acknowledged it, let alone thanked me for it.

Really? REALLY!?

Some might say I’m over-analyzing this, or putting too much effort rather than just letting go. I say to you that I am putting this much effort into this so that I can let you go. I’m so tired of not getting the respect that I deserve. A friendship/relationship between two people is only healthy if both parties mutually respect each other. And that cannot be said of our current reality.

Was I just another person to add to your played list? I respected you, not because of what you could give in return to me, but because I thought you were truly an admirable person (note an emphasis on the past tense). And now that I see the real you, and how you can be so ignorant, I can’t help but wonder what on earth I was thinking all along!

I know exactly how you are going to take this, IF you ever happen to read this. You’ll think of me as a bitter little boy, and use this letter as a boost to your insatiable ego, and perhaps even use it to boost your popularity. There’s even the chance that you’ll use this to advance your career in some sick way, never actually paying attention to the words said and what they meant to me.

For what it’s worth, the past three months have not been a complete write-off of my life. Believe it or not, there is a silver lining in this situation. And that is, I realized what kind of person you really are before it was too late. In the future, I’ll look at you with nothing less than you deserve – with contempt, while you can look at me with nothing more or less than I’ll ever be to you – a fantasy. Because, really, I’m SO over you. This OMG post is nothing more or less than the end of our interactions with each other.

There are some people reading this who have no idea who I’m talking to. I know things like this are best kept between two people, but I simply don’t see that as a possibility anymore. So to the person that this message was intended for (I trust you know who you are), you brought this on yourself. To those who have stuck with this rant till the very end, the object of my disappointment can be determined by reading the first letter of each paragraph. I’m glad the truth is finally coming out.

43 comments

  1. You sound like a little bitch.

    I think these "nice guys" need to realize that when girls complain to you about every single thing in their life, they're not interested in you. You can't get into her pants by pretending to be her "friend", either.

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    1. "Pretending"? Nobody's pretending. Whether this is real or not, when this sort of thing happens, the guy is usually genuine. And he's not doing things to "get into her pants", it's the other way round - they develop feelings over time.

      Besides... how does sharing everything with someone mean you're not interested? Girls constantly rant on about how they want a boyfriend who will cuddle them and offer a shoulder to cry on, a reliable partner. This is especially true in marriage, for which flirting and dating are pretty much practice, to see what kind of person you can spend the rest of your time with (if you plan on that, whether out of love/care/trust or for socioeconomical benefits).

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    2. You're an idiot 1. You obviously didn't bother reading the post properly.

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    3. Thank you, 1c, for insulting me without providing any reasons as to why you're doing so.

      @1b: Your first argument can be left to interpretation. The overall tone I was getting from this was that he's entitled and self-absorbed, from sentences such as this one: "Despite my valiant and incessant efforts, she continuously fails to see me in the same way." If he's genuinely trying to cultivate a relationship with her, it shouldn't sound like he's pushing himself onto her.

      The problem with these guys is that they think they can win a girl over by sticking around and acting as a "friend". They then complain when the girl doesn't see them as a romantic interest. Obviously, both parties are at fault; the girl for manipulating the guy, but also the guy himself for sticking around.

      As for your second argument, I'm speaking from my experience as a girl. Yes, we want that kind of support from another person when we're dating. However, I'm certain that the majority of girls would not consider bitching and ranting every day to some guy they're interested in. Both genders tend to avoid this - you're trying to present yourself in the best light during the courting stage. All the messy stuff comes afterwards when you're actually in a relationship.

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    4. @1,1d: "the object of my disappointment can be determined by reading the first letter of each paragraph"

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    5. @1d I wish I could be there to see the look on your stupid face once you actually read the whole post and see how dumb you are :D Idiot.

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    6. 1d: What do you mean, "can be left to interpretation"? I clearly stated that contrary to popular belief, a boy doesn't necessarily act friendly to earn a girl's affection, but rather develops feelings for her after being friends. What other interpretations can you get from that?
      The same way, what's so self-entitled about wanting such genuine efforts recognized? You say you speak from experience as a girl, well let me tell you, I speak from experience as a human being whose honest care was seen (and denounced) as an attempt to earn praise. Believe me, it sucks when you open your heart and soul to others only to be shunned because they think you've been acting "nice" for cookies and pats on the back all along. Even more so when you are in need of their help or support, and suddenly they leave you because they think you're just demanding attention, that everything you've done to support them was to get favors.

      I also speak from experience as a strongly gay man who acquired most of his love interests after having been helpful to them. These guys did NOT show themselves in the best light to me, they showed themselves in their worst. And you know what? It worked, both ways - I was happy that they trusted me with personal information and even dark secrets, they were grateful for my advice and support.
      All of this was genuine, there was no "I did this for you so you must do that for me". Still, that did not stop me from feeling cheated by my first partner, when he made me listen to his fandoms and troubles but responded with awkward silence whenever I made a relevant reply about myself. I made him poems and drawings personally aimed at his interests, only to receive some silly gameplay videos dedicated to me (in hindsight maybe it was the best he could do, but we just weren't compatible). He never hesitated to express intense hatred of a fandom I belonged in, yet he had me walking on eggshells from fear of hurting him with a word about things he liked.
      My current boyfriend isn't like that, he's made stuff for me and I've made stuff for him, we've mutually listened to each other, we don't keep a tally count of who's done what etc.

      You are fairly good at understanding how casual dating works, it seems, but not actual romance with heartfelt feelings. Seems like you describe dating as a way to get company and then TRY them for support, whereas my arguments were about getting company you're SURE to receive support from.

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    7. 1g, lol, you're a dumbass. Read the whole post you joke-missing dickhole!

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  2. Holy story time batman!

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  3. ^ did you guys even read the omg completely hahaha

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  4. TL;DR:







    Just kidding, did not read.

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  5. Don't hate on Taylor Swift like that!

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  6. TAYLOR SWIFT!! EHHHHHHH.

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  7. OP let me give you some advice on girls, cuz you do seem like a genuine nice guy.

    First, you have to completely accept that you were at fault. That you lacked the manhood and focused action it took to have this girl attracted to you. If you cannot do that, then we cannot move on.

    OP, do you know what girls talk to their friends about?

    Well, the answer is EVERYTHING. Now compare that to what you and your bros talk about - girls, sports, good beer, adventures. What happens when you start talking to a girl? Well, the guy goes "damn, i dont talk about these shit to my homies, this girl must be special" while the girl will simply see you as a friend.

    "but no" you say, "I pursued her sexually for 3 months with no intention of being friends"

    Well, OP, that's your mistake. If it takes you 3 months to realize bitch dont like you like that...well then you should be counting your lucky stars that it didnt take you 3 whole years, like I had to.

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    1. You didn't actually read the whole post did you?

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    2. What? You think just cuz the dude was chasing Talyor Swift, he cant use some good advice?

      Get over yourself smartfuck

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  8. ITT: nobody reads the last paragraph.

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    1. top lel

      Well I've read the whole thing, and while it's most likely a troll indeed, the genuine reactions are still interesting and make me think.
      If this were a girl complaining about a guy ignoring her efforts, there would be fewer "you suck" or "you're dumb" comments than there are in this case, and many more calling him a douche than there are here calling the girl a bitch.

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  9. There are a bunch of Taylor Swifts here hahaha.

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  10. HAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD OP YOU ARE AWESOME! :D

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  11. lol good read

    would read again

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  12. When I started reading this, I was thinking "whoa there's a lot of feeling in this" and "I wonder how long this took to write". And then I got to the end. LOL But I still wonder how long it took to write.

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  13. hahaha I'm loving all the reactions to this. Gold.

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  14. Whoever OP is, keep your head up and keep doing you. You were keeping it 100 and genuine, and she couldn't reciprocate that.

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  15. ahahahhahahaha damn

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  16. she seems like an emotional vampire. Remember fella all that glitters is not gold.

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  17. Hey,

    OP you sound like someone I know. If I am the subject of this letter (which is a possibility), I will tell you that you are appreciated. I had a friend in you. I felt like I could confide in you because you wanted me to trust you and I did.

    Sure, I am no where near perfect. No one is. I revealed to you my faults hoping for them to be kept secret and for our friendship to remain intact. But I couldn't reciprocate it. You confided in me too but I couldn't say the right things to help you out. So I felt uncomfortable still using you as a crutch. I started instead to work on things on my own, which I never told you because I didn't want the attention or acknowledgement. I just needed to be alone for a bit.

    Now, I think that our friendship is a bit healthier. I am no longer a perfect image in your mind and that makes me feel a bit more comfortable around you. I wasn't trying to play you and I'm sorry if you felt that way. I hope that we remain friends, not just in passing.

    TC

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    1. you mean TS right

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    2. Tc = take care

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    3. i can't believe how many people are "whooshing" with this post.

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    4. @20, i feel bad for both you and whoever you think wrote this. but let me just say, that i know for a fact that this post is 110% not about you. there isn't even a little teeny weeny possibility that it is.

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  18. tears of laughter every time I read this.

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  19. THIS IS ABOUT ME.
    WE ARE NEVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER.
    LIKE EVER.

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  20. How exactly does it figure that if a guy likes a girl and she uses that to her advantage in a friendship that makes her an absolutely terrible person. However when a guy pretends to be nice and be friends with a girl and manipulates her feelings to have sex with her, then we just write that off as thats how guys are?

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    1. Because in situation A, the guy is "losing" instead. Lovely how that works.

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  21. http://i.imgur.com/iLxqJc1.gif

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  22. OP if you want to leave this white knighting phase of your life, you have to say that to her face, with the same anger and passion that you wrote this post. Do it for all the other guys at UW who are being used for their intelligence, time, generosity, whatever it may be.

    Do it OP. Only then will you feel free.

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