OMG UPDATE: Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but write a missed connection and submit it maybe?

Updated on Friday, July 24, 2015


MISSED CONNECTION: To the Asian girl with the backwards green baseball cap at last Bomber:

Your smile, your style
Simple, yet enchanting
Yet I stood afar
Never to ask you to go dancing

I wish I had just approached
made introductions and conversation
but I guess we all kind of know
that bomber is a horrible location

I'd like to meet you when sober
With full clarity and mind
So we can both share a dialogue
of a genuine kind

they say you only live with regrets
and I say, I must agree
the only thing I wish,
is that I asked you to dance with me.


  1. Poetry class just found out about OMGUW or what?

    1. This guy would miserably fail poetry class.

  2. shut up, it's really good writing

  3. Judging by the writing style (repeated words, grammatical structures, etc.), the same person wrote all three of the poems in MC right now.

  4. Sleeping in bed soundly,
    upon a sudden I felt a start,
    the warmth upon my leg,
    the smell of a fart.

    A night of hot sex,
    was all I could see,
    did I wear protection?
    We must buy Plan B.

    My change on the nightstand,
    I must be let free,
    Thought I scaored a ten,
    But now she's def a three.

  5. Walking down the pathways
    Among my zombie eyed peers
    I feel a certain tightness
    Perhaps from the lack of breeze

    Striding past the rock garden
    I can take it no more
    There's something wrong here
    Of that much I'm sure

    Looking around in vicinity
    For judgmental ears and eyes
    I spot a likely secluded place
    Behind a rock of large size

    I check for people and animal sneaks
    Hoping none of them would catch
    As I reach up to my butt cheeks
    Scratch scratch scratch


    1. Why would anyone write a poem on butt scratching?

  6. Whoever wrote this...I'm going to punch you write in the fuckin' face for writing this crap.

    1. Shut up you typical UW antisocial prick.

  7. Ode to Justin Bieber:

    With no more music, Justin turns to modelling,
    His deal with Calvin Klein would be simply mind-boggling.
    The world wants away with you're ridiculous schemes,
    So stop acting like such an attention grabbing teen.

    Justin, Justin, what have you done?
    You've thrown away your career just to have some fun--
    contributing to the infamy that is tween delinquency,
    breaking laws and expecting minimal legal stringency.

    What's with the kids today, what is the cause
    of their "me-first" attitudes and their breaking of laws
    These are the kids who will be in power,
    when we're old and grey in our final hours.

    I worry about the future, for when I'm old and grey,
    in an old-age home where I sit around all day,
    and the people in power, much younger than I,
    follow people like Bieber, with no reason why.

    1. you went full retard, bro. never go full retard